* ethan is officially not a newborn anymore! *
i know it's been ages since i updated about ethan's progress. but what can i say, i've been busy. so sue me!

i'll make this quick, since i don't have a lot of time. he's now 7 months!! and i have decisively concluded that he is no longer a newborn. yes, there are several things which have led me to this conclusion.

1. he has started crawling. since about 6 months, he's been attempting various versions of crawling, and have now almost mastered it (if given enough space)!

2. he has started eating solids!! i started him 1 week before his 6th month birthday. he now eats about 2T. of cereal with 2 cubes of pureed fruit/veg. twice a day. i'll probably move him to 3 meals a day in about 2 weeks. so far, he's loved everything i've given him, with the exception of bananas. if i hide it real well in other stuff, he'll still eat it :)

3. he's started pulling himself to standing since his 7th month birthday! i find this shocking as he's only just barely started crawling. but he's been eager to stand for a long time, as he's always pushing with his legs when we hold him (ever since he was about 5 months).

4. i think he's starting to go from 3 naps a day to 2. it's been about 2 days, so we'll see if this continues. his naps are still generally only 30minutes. wish he would nap for 1-2 hours like other normal babies!!

5. his first tooth has sprouted!! although you still can't really see anything, if you put your finger on his gums you can definitely feel a little hard tooth popping out!

thus comes the end of this post. the little mister is squealing for his mummy :)

* your love can change the world *
this line from the al gordon song 'because of your love' has been haunting me for the last few months. i've wanted to write a post about it for awhile but other things (mostly by the name of ethan) have kept me busy.

but here it is now. in 2 months' time, the man himself, along with tim hughes and mike pilavachi will be gracing the shores of hong kong in an event called worhsip central. am i excited? why, yes. yes i am.

but back to the song. in my work with asylum seekers and refugees, i hear and read a lot about the heartbreaking things that happen in places like the Congo, Sudan, and Somalia. so many times, in my frustration and weariness, i would wonder if there is any hope for Africa. could things change? could the heritage of war and conflict ever be broken? could generations of people who have only known violence as a way of getting revenge begin to seek out peace and forgiveness instead? the prospects seem bleak, when over and over again we hear of news of more violence and bloodshed, leaders who misuse their power, and injustice being overlooked by the rest of the world.

but this song, and especially this line - YOUR LOVE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD - is a powerful one. one that reminds me that there is nothing that the Father's love cannot overcome. His love can change the world, one life, one heart, at a time. i have seen this happen here is hong kong. and if it can happen for a few here, it can happen for a few more there. and a few here and there will eventually become the world. isn't that how it happened with Jesus?

so i have hope. i have hope that one day, Africa will be a prosperous, peaceful continent. i have hope that those who steal, kill, and destroy for personal gain will one day know the love and grace of Christ. i have hope that the damage done to humanity can be restored. but it must start with me. YOUR LOVE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD. i have to love those around me with the same love and grace that i am given. i have to love especially those who are hard to love, those who are broken, bitter, angry, depressed and selfish. because what is his love worth if we only keep it to ourselves (or our friends)?

HIS LOVE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD. but it starts with me. and if nothing changes, i cannot blame anyone but myself.

* these moments *
ever since our little bundle of joy arrived, people have told us to treasure this time when they are small. after three months, i now know what they are talking about. i've found myself getting emotional at very mundane moments of just holding ethan at home, and thinking that there will come a day when i wouldn't be able to hold him like this. it really is so precious and i wish i could freeze these moments when he's calm and nuzzles his face into my neck and i can stroke his cheek with my cheek... i don't want him to get any bigger!!

and since becoming a mother, i've suddenly become very well-versed in baby talk and coming up with nicknames for our little guy. here are some of them:

- my boo/boo boo
- snuggle bug (because he really is very deh... how does one translate that accurately?)
- sweet cheeks
- my little sausage roll (when i swaddle him)
- gorgeous
- cutie pie

so what's new? it's ethan's 3-month birthday today!! some of the milestones/things we noticed about him over the past few weeks:

- he's starting to enjoy tummy time more! he's able to hold his head up and look around now!
- he has discovered his mouth and saliva and now loves licking/sucking on anything that comes near his mouth, which is usually his fists and sophie la girafe.
- he's been holding his hands together and using his fists to push things into his mouth (not always with much accuracy, i have to say), and it won't be long before he actually realizes he has hands.
- he LOVES his swing with a mobile of sea creatures. whenever we put him in the swing, he just stares gleefully at the whale, sea turtle, and fish going round and round.
- he is (mostly) sleeping through the night now! since last week, he's been sleeping consistently for 6-7 hours straight! PTL!!
- also last week, we finally made the switch from newborn diapers to size small :)
- he is real chatty these days, and makes the cutest cooing and gurgling sounds.

* BABY UPDATE!! *
ok, so this is more for my family and anyone else who wants to know what's happening with Ethan these days. hopefully i can keep this up regularly so you don't miss any of his cuteness!

the most significant milestone was definately 2 nights ago, when Ethan slept for over 6 hours!! before that, he went a couple of nights for 5 hours. derek and i were both shocked, but it's definately not a regular occurrence yet. last night he went back to waking up every 3 hours for a feed. another trade off for him sleeping longer at night is more frequent feedings during the day, as he still needs the calories. but we are seeing the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel and i'm looking forward to the day when Ethan can sleep through the night regularly.

being almost 11 weeks old, he's also starting to "talk" a lot more. it's really really cute, and sometimes he even makes noise that sounds almost like real words! we can see that he's definately trying to communicate more with "words" rather than just crying, and it really is cute. have i mentioned that before? he's really really cute :)

he's also learning to use his hands more. while he still can't quite grab stuff yet, he can hold onto things for a few seconds if you put it in his hands. and he can clasp his hands together and sometimes push things into his mouth with both hands. he's also started to suck on his fists. it's only a matter of time before he discovers his thumbs.... we don't mind though because it seems to calm him and as long as his hands are clean, we say suck away!

* my miracle healing *
so i'm finally getting myself sorted out and updating blogs and posting pics etc. go me!

even though everyone i knew (including my husband) was at 180, i still had a very special valentine's day present this year. it started out not the greatest since i was home alone that night. i decided to get the breast pump ready but didn't want to bother sterilizing it again, so i boiled water and tried to rinse it out. but the boiling water splashed all over my hand (i know, i'm a genius) and seriously scalded half my hand. it was really really really REALLY painful, and i just kept imagining the massive blister that was going to form. so i prayed that God the Jehovah Rapha would heal my hand. and lo and behold! when i woke up the next morning (well, middle of the night, since i had to feed ethan) my hand was perfectly fine! one finger was still a little tender the next day, but no blisters! and after the first day, my hand feels totally normal! PTL!! i love Daddy :)

if you want to see the latest photos of ethan, i've just uploaded them on facebook. go and see the cutest baby in the world!!!!!

*HAPPY 1-WEEK BIRTHDAY!*

yay, we made it to one week! while the shock of ethan's early arrival has wained, the new shock of being parents 24/7 is just starting to set in! the past week has been pretty amazing. ethan is pretty amazing :) he just so darn cute!! it makes waking up every 3 hours round the clock almost a joy.

we've also been blessed with visits from friends and family and neighbors bringing us food, which has been extremely helpful. thank you everyone!

aside from the fun & excitement of being with our little peanut, there was also the inevitable problems of sore stitches and nipples, as every mother would tell you. i thought the latter was tolerable for the first few days, until the blisters started getting bigger and the pain got worse. it got to a point 2 days ago when i really couldn't stand it anymore and had to pump instead, because the pain of pumping was at least controllable as opposed to ethan's voracious sucking. but then he began needing more milk (the hospital said about 80 ml each feeding) but i could only pump about 60ml. this made everything very frustrating becuase i knew that ethan was hungry, but i couldn't do anything about it.

so this morning derek finally went to get some formula so we could supplement. hopefully this will ease the pressure off my nipples a little and give them some time to heal. linnet and peta both tell me that it'll get better, but right now it's hard to imagine.

as for the stitches, i went for a check-up on monday, and the nurse said everything looks good. great, but it's still damn sore! but at least they look good. that's important.

this is a season of lots and lots of babies at the Vine, but the male-female ratio is highly imbalanced, which means that ethan is going to be spoiled for choice when he grows up! he had his first hook-up yesterday, when matt and peta visited with lily. right now, she looks like she could throw him around like a yo-yo, but i'm sure in a few years he'll catch up ;)

*an early christmas gift*

well, the pregnancy blog will have to turn into a baby blog early, because our little peanut arrived 2 weeks ahead of schedule!! if you're taken by surprise, you're not alone... i am just starting to get over the shock of it all myself. here's the scoop on how it all went down.

thursday, dec.11:
being in the last month of pregnancy, i had my weekly check up at the local maternal health clinic at 9am. i woke up in the morning and discovered that i had a bit of bloody show (blood tinged discharge, one of the signs of the onset of labor. but most of the books say this comes a few DAYS before labor... yeah right!). at this point, i remembered seeing some extra gooey discharge 2 days ago, which i now realized was the mucus plug. anyway, i went to the check-up, and told the nurse i had bit of bloody show, but it was quite faint. she said that i could observe it and if it gets heavier then i should go to the hospital. so i went home at about 11am and figured i should start making sure the bags are all ready, did some last minute grocery shopping, took out our huge load of recycling, and waited to see how i felt.

by about 12pm the false contractions that you get in the last few months were starting to feel a bit stronger, and i really wasn't sure if they were the false ones or real ones, so i tried to call linnet, but she didn't answer. at this point i still didn't believe i could be going into labor so soon, so i took out all our baby books and tried to see if i can find out what's going on.... at about 1 i decided that it was probably a good thing to at least make my way towards central, just in case.

by the time i got out to the Tung Chung mtr station at about 1:30, i was pretty sure that the contractions were real because they were starting to hurt more and more. so i called derek to meet me at central. the reason i didn't believe i was really going into labor earlier was because as soon as i started timing the false contractions at home, they were already about 5 minutes apart. now with the real ones, they were about 5-7 minutes apart. how could they be so close together right from the start?!?! anyway, got on the mtr, and the contractions were getting pretty painful... found derek and we fei dik (read: "took a super fast taxi ride") to QMH.

we checked into the maternity ward at about 2:30pm, and by now i was really in pain - like screaming out loud pain. but the nurses just put me in the waiting ward. i asked one of them when i should be getting the epidural, because it was really really getting unbearable, but i was thinking "is it still too early??" she just said it was up to me (read: no help at all) and walked off. by the next contraction, i think they realized i was for real and got me ready to go to the labor room. this was about 3pm. i asked for the epidural again, but this time the nurse told me that the one and only anesthesiologist at the hospital just went into surgery and won't come out for a while. she said that since it looked like i was going to deliver pretty soon, there was probably no point in getting the epidural anyway. this is what i told her in my head: "what the *#$*@?!#$!*@!!@#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

after getting strapped in and prepped, and derek came in, and the real show bagan. i was just starting to get used to the deep breathing to get through each contraction that when the midwife told me to start pushing i didn't know what she meant. it took a couple more contractions and everyone telling me to push and me not pushing before i realized that this was it - the baby had to come out! once i started pushing (basically trying to poop out a huge melon...) the contractions weren't as painful because you're focusing on getting the baby out. this was actually easier than getting through the earlier contractions. towards the end though, there weren't anymore contractions coming (i still don't know why) and i didn't feel like i had enough energy to push without the contractions, so it felt like forever. ethan's head had partially come out, but it took me a while before i managed to muster enough energy for a few more pushes to get him fully out.

of course, the thrill and joy of finally seeing my son in person was amazing, but honestly that was a pretty disgusting moment when all the warm gooey stuff was coming out along with the baby... i mean, there was a LOT of "stuff". i hope this is not too graphic for some. anyway, after the nurse shoved his butt into my face (because i had to self-declare the sex of the baby), they took him away to be cleaned and checked. then i had to deliver the placenta and then sewn up.

this next part was probably the most painful hour of my entire life. delivering the placenta wasn't too bad, except the midwife had to push and rub my stomach really hard to stimulate the placenta to detach. when it came out, she realized there was a chunk missing and had to push my stomach some more to get the rest out.

then came the stitching. she had to make a small incision (called an episiostomy - a pretty common procedure) in order to help the baby come out easier. but besides this, i also managed to tear something else inside... if you know what i mean. so she had to stitch my my inside and outside as well. now, let me remind you had i have not had ANY anesthesia, except for a few gasps of entoxin, which i'm convinced is just a placebo anyway. she gave me a local anesthetic, but then both my legs started cramping real bad from all the pushing, and she couldn't stitch until i could relax my legs. that took awhile, so by the time she actually got to the stitching, whatever anesthetic she gave me i'm sure had worn off. then she proceded to pull and yank on me for nearly an hour..... down there, with no anesthesia.


so, that's the story. under 6 hours from start to finish. yay.

i'm so glad that ethan is out now. he's a lot more fun outside than in :) we'll upload more photos very soon!